Get a Racquet
Failure. Pure dread wells up in my throat and the knotted snake in my stomach shifts positions. I could fail. That one sentence weighs me down and I can’t think, so I don’t. Instead, it takes me over two years to face my fear. Luckily, after all the pressure I placed on myself, I was able to confront my apprehensions and benefit. In the end, playing high school tennis was a highly rewarding experience. I only wish I hadn’t let my fear of failure keep me from reaping that reward earlier. I avoided the problem and lost out on so much.My parents were constantly encouraging me to join a sport, especially tennis. Instead, I lobbed excuses at them, hoping they would let it drop. However, I knew the real reason and I’m sure now that they did too. I couldn’t face my ever-present fear of failure. Ironically, the predominant reason I feel sports are so crucial to the growth of the individual is that they challenge people to have fun. Tennis in particular has helped me to alleviate that constant pressure I applied to myself during high school and allowed me to enjoy the simple thrill of trying. In terms of rank, I did not start at the top and I most certainly did not end at the top. In fact, during my second year of playing I actually dropped two spots on the varsity team after starting as second seed. This did bother me a great deal but not because of the failure. I loathed the fact that I hadn’t played up to my potential and had let my worries and self-doubts hold me back. That in itself was another lesson: how to deal with one’s own perceived inadequacies.
Furthermore, I feel that sports let adolescents find and connect with those of a similar mindset. Tennis, on the surface, is not really considered a team sport. You go out on the court alone, you face your opponent alone, and most importantly you deal with your mental debilitations, alone. If someone were to consider the act of playing the game solely in this manner it might appear to propagate individual competition and complete self-reliance, neither of which fits in with the community bonding most sports facilitate. However, this is only one aspect of tennis. Physically playing the actual game may be a singular activity but that is not the game in its entirety. In most forms, the individual matches contribute to the victory or defeat of the team as a whole. My parents felt I could gain through this social interaction and they were right.
“Freedom. It’s as if Atlas finally put down the world and stood up straight. I have done it. I have proven to myself that I can survive failure and I can learn from it. I walk out onto the tennis court and await my next opponent - not in fear but in carefree anticipation.” This is how I felt when I finally realized how I had changed throughout my high school career. Tennis has taught me copious amounts about life and myself that I would not have otherwise divined. I grew into my own person, someone who could dare to believe in herself even without a one hundred percent guaranteed success. I formed friendships and learned how to work with my peers. Lastly, I proved to myself that I could achieve anything I put my mind to, no matter how daunting the task. This is why I advocate joining sports or other extracurriculars early in life. The lessons I learned from tennis will carry me throughout my lifetime, and I will never forget both what I gained and what I lost.
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